Articles
The Gift for Giving
December 08, 2007
Living life together as a family is tough—sometimes it seems impossible to be the person we think we should be, we want to be, we ought to be. Nurturing family relationships should be given top priority, but other responsibilities get in the way. We want our homes to be peaceful, but feelings get hurt and misunderstandings often drag on longer than they should. Life gets all clumped together and sometimes it seems like there’s more conflict than harmony.
We all make mistakes. As much as we want to do what’s right, we often don’t. That’s where forgiveness comes in. What is forgiveness? Author Tim Wesemann writes, “It’s not just a response to an apology. It’s not just a feeling. Forgiveness is a choice, an action … it is a freeing gift” (from “The Gift: Forgiveness Is for You”).
Consider this story of forgiveness within a family:
That one-of-a-kind collector’s plate was probably worth $100. I hung it up so that others could enjoy its beauty. The more I looked at the broken pieces, the more I felt somebody had to pay—not with money, but with suffering.
Billy had broken the plate. He should suffer. He should know how angry he had made me—how hurt I felt. I’d had a long, hard day and now, coming home to this! I marched into Billy’s room and found him asleep on his bed. That only angered me more. I called his name and gently rocked his shoulders. His father assured me that he had been scolded, but I didn’t care. I wanted him to know how much he had hurt me. I called his name and rocked his shoulders again.
This time two sad eyes opened halfway as a puckering mouth uttered the unforgettable words, “I’m sorry.” Suddenly his arms found my arms and we ended up hugging and holding each other as I said my two-word “sermon”: “You’re forgiven.”
As I nestled my almost-seven-year-old son in my lap, my heart raced with joy—the unexplainable joy of forgiveness. As I quietly reflected on the events of the evening, I thought about how often I too had hurt God and others through my actions. Yet, when God looks at His Son and hears my quivering, “I’m sorry,” His strong arms lift me into His lap of love and I experience the joy of His complete forgiveness.
Mom’s first reaction was anger, something with which we can all relate. But consider how the anger was replaced by joy through the power of forgiveness. Holding on to anger and nursing grudges costs us more than it does the one who hurt us. Which feeling—anger or joy—do you wish for your family?
Just as the plate was broken into pieces, brokenness is part of living in an imperfect world; but the story need not end there. God has a different plan. Though we fall short of perfection, God’s Son Jesus did not. He lived a perfect life on earth, and then took the punishment we deserve and died for us. Jesus was our substitute and when God looks at us, He sees Jesus … and He forgives. Forgiveness is for giving!
This article is a compilation of thoughts expressed in a booklet called “Life Together: Practical Tips for Living as a Family” by Lutheran Hour Ministries.
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